


Trying To Protect What I Keep Inside

by Nevanna



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Captivity, Episode: s03e13 Last of the Time Lords, Gen, Telepathy, Year That Never Was
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-29
Updated: 2017-05-29
Packaged: 2018-11-06 11:03:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 860
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11034879
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nevanna/pseuds/Nevanna
Summary: Despite being menaced by a dangerous alien dictator, Tish tries to resist in the only ways that she knows how, and safeguard what matters most to her.





	Trying To Protect What I Keep Inside

**Author's Note:**

> This story fills the "captivity" square for the Hurt/Comfort Bingo amnesty period.
> 
> The title is from the song "Crossroads" by Tracy Chapman.

“Let’s have a chat, Miss Jones. ”

During Harold Saxon’s campaign, Tish watched some of his interviews and speeches (in case she decided to apply for a publicity job in Downing Street). On the surface, the man who is walking toward her resembles the man on the television screen, but she knows that she’ll never think of him as human again.

“You might think that the lord and Master of an entire planet doesn’t wish for anything,” he continues. “You would be mistaken.” He gives an exaggerated pout. “There is still something that I lack.” 

In her mind, she still calls him “Saxon.” He may have taken her freedom, her siblings, her trust in her parents, and her entire planet, but her thoughts are still her own, and she refuses to think of him as “the Master.”

“And you can give it to me!” he says cheerfully. He’s close enough that she would spit in his face if his armed guards hadn’t been there. “Doesn’t that make you feel special?”

“I don’t know where Martha is,” Tish says flatly.

“Well, I hardly expected you to tell me your sister’s exact coordinates and the details of her plan the moment that I asked,” Saxon remarks. “You strike me as a _bit_ more loyal than that.”

Tish doesn’t trust herself to speak. She knew that something like this would happen sooner or later. She knows that it’s happened to other prisoners.

“You needn’t be afraid that we’ll torture you into talking.” Saxon is almost crooning the words. He reaches for Tish’s face with both hands. “I promise that you won’t have to say a word.”

And then it feels as if Saxon’s fingers are sinking _through_ her skull, moving through her thoughts, dragging her memories to the surface.

_She’s a child again, lying on the sofa and moaning theatrically, as seven-year-old Martha brandishes a pair of scissors above her leg and gleefully proclaims that she’ll have to amputate…_

_More than ten years after that, and Tish has locked herself in a bathroom stall on the first day of her A-levels, as she fights to stay calm…_

_It’s two Christmases ago, and she’s hiding in her bedroom, as her parents scream at each other in the next room and Leo pours himself another drink…_

_She glanced back only once before chasing her sister into danger that she only half understands…_

_Saxon’s lackeys have forced her and her parents into a van, and are driving them God knows where, and her mother is sobbing, “This is all my fault,” and Tish can’t look her in the eye…_

Terror suddenly overwhelms her. The thoughts that have formed in her mind after a few minutes (or sooner) are completely alien, but the fear is so strong that more time passes before she understands that it’s coming from _outside_ of herself. “You’re scared of her,” she whispers.

“What’s that rubbish?” Saxon hisses.

“You’re afraid that you won’t catch Martha, or that she’s already made a plan that’s bigger than she is.” Tish’s legs are trembling, and she wishes that her voice didn’t waver, but she pushes on. “You were right: you have control over the entire world, and you’re still sulking like a child because you can’t control _one_ human woman.”

Saxon releases her, and she sways on her feet, certain that those words were the last ones she’ll ever speak. “Who told you that you could talk to me like that?” he asks, his voice low and cold.

Tish has just enough time to think that if he orders his soldiers to shoot her, she’ll be lucky for a quick end.

Instead, he laughs. “You entertain me, Letitia Jones. I think I’ll keep that tasty little mind of yours intact after all.”

The words “after all” follow Tish back to the cell that she shares with her parents. 

“Tish!” Her mother holds her at arm’s length. “Did that monster hurt you?”

“Not exactly.” The sensation inside Tish’s head wasn’t exactly painful, even if she did try to squirm away. But she glimpsed Saxon’s thoughts as he looked through hers, and below those glimpses were endless, chaotic depths that she can’t think about for too long without wanting to scream or be sick.

“I’m just glad that you’re safe.” Mum holds Tish’s hands tightly, and for the first time since the invasion, Tish doesn’t jerk away. “That’s all I ever wanted, you know.”

To her embarrassment, Tish can no longer keep the tears from falling. “I tried to tell him off,” she sniffles. “I shouldn’t have done that. You’ve already lost Martha and Leo, and…” And, at least for the moment, she doesn’t want to die.

“It was foolish, I’ll tell you that,” Mum says, “but I won’t say that you _shouldn’t_ have stood up to him, or spoken your mind.” She puts an arm around Tish and draws her close. 

Tish rests her head against her mother’s shoulder. “Tell me why you were working with him,” she says. “I want to understand.” She doesn’t know how much longer they will own their words, or their thoughts, but she doesn’t want to waste another second of that time.

**Author's Note:**

> I posted a version of this story at the beginning of January, and then removed it because I wasn't confident enough to let it stand. I like Tish as a character and her relationships with her family, I found their story during "The Last of the TIme Lords" to be very touching, I like stories about ordinary people in extraordinary circumstances, and I have a dark fascination with invasive telepathy. However, I realized then, and realize now, that there are some unfortunate racial implications to the Jones family's circumstances during the Master's control of Earth, both in canon and in whatever fanworks address the subject. 
> 
> Despite my hesitation, and with the knowledge that it's impossible to guarantee that I'll never offend anybody, I decided to give the story another try anyway, and attempted to give Tish as much agency and dignity as possible given her situation, and place her emotions and family relationships front and center. Whether I succeeded in reducing harm is for the reader to decide, but I very much hope that I have.


End file.
